One of the despised necessities of motherhood is the “To Do List.” It’s a “hate to” but “have to” experience. You “hate to” spend time making your list, but you know you “have to” or you will never meet the needs of everyone depending on you. What’s sad is that a “Mom’s To Do List” is not new. In fact, a study of the Lord’s Prayer uncovered a list over 2000 years old.

In Matthew 6:11, Jesus teaches us to pray, “Give us today our daily bread.”
In the past, scholars believed that the only appearance of this word “daily” (epiousios) in all Greek literature was in Matthew’s and Luke’s accounts of the Lord’s Prayer. Yet a few decades ago, scholars found this word “daily” on an ancient papyrus. It was on a woman’s shopping list beside an item to be bought that day. It read like an emphatic reminder, “I have to have this today.”

Whether the list is written on an ancient papyrus, a piece of paper, or an electronic device, a “Mom’s To Do List” helps her know what needs to be accomplished before the day’s end. Though Titus 2:3-5 reads as another list of things for Mom to get done, it’s far different. Most lists are meant to be accomplished in one day. The “Mom’s To Do List” in Titus 2 is a reminder of what needs to be done in a lifetime, and writing a lifetime list is an important exercise.

The demands of our daily lists cause us to keep our heads down and focused on what we are doing. Blinded by what we are doing each day, we often forget to look up and see where we are going in life. A few years ago I challenged our church’s Ministry Team to write a personal mission statement. To help them, I asked them to consider what they truly wanted to accomplish in life. Fulfilling the exercise, I realized there were only three things I wanted to accomplish in life. I wanted to be “Faithful to God,” “Loving to Loree,” and “A Mentor to My Boys.” Remarkably, my daily lists changed in order to fulfill the list of a lifetime.

Titus 2:3-5 gives mothers an opportunity to look up from your daily lists and consider what should be on your lifetime list. When you take time to create a “Mom’s To Do List” for life, it’s likely to change the way you make your lists for each day. Therefore, let’s look at the lifetime list provided for moms in Titus 2:3-5.

3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

My exercise surfaced three items for my lifetime list. It seems that the “Mom’s To Do List” in these verses has identified ten. It’s not that moms need more on their list than me. It’s more that I’m not all-knowing like God. I don’t see everything He sees. Besides, I’ve never been and never will be a mom. Therefore, let’s look at what God says needs to be on a “Mom’s To Do List.” Let’s see what God says a mom needs to accomplish in her lifetime.

1. Be Holy

The item God places at the top of your “Mom’s To Do List” is to be holy. Now I realize that you might think I’m stretching the importance of a lifetime list for moms. However, the opening words of verse 3 support it. When it says, “Likewise, teach the older women...”, it is referring to mature women around the age of sixty and older. This is true because this word “older” is also used for men in verse 2, and Paul uses it to describe himself in Philemon 9. At that time, he was over sixty years old.

I say all this to make the point that the items on this list are not meant to help you through a given phase in life. They are to be a part of all phases of life. For just as a mom will never stop being a mom, moms should never stop striving to be holy.

In verse 3, the Bible says that older women are “to be reverent.” The King James Version describes this reverence as “behavior that becometh holiness.” Such reverence can be described as the outward display of the inward condition of holiness. And whether in Hebrew or Greek, holiness has always had the purpose of being different, attractive, and magnetic. Anytime we become like God we are different from the rest of the world, and the difference grabs the attention of others and draws them to God.

I read of a junior high school science teacher who was about to begin a unit of study on magnets. To introduce the study, he created a crossword puzzle. One of the lines read, “My name has six letters beginning with ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?” Instead of writing “magnet,” half of the class answered, “Mother.”

Though you may feel like a magnet because of everything you pick up in the house, God challenges you to be a magnet of holiness. Let your life with God be different, attractive, and magnetic. In fact, when you live a life of holiness before your husband, children, family and friends, they will be the ones that pick up on it. Isn’t that a better list as a mom—not to pick up others’ things, but that others will pick up your holiness? If you are wondering what a life of holiness might look like, just fulfill the other nine items on “Mom’s To Do List.”

2. Be Truthful

The second item on “Mom’s To Do List” is the reversal of the negative charge, “not to be slanderers.” This word “slanderer” is used thirty-four times in the Bible to describe the devil, and you might recall that John 8:44 identifies the devil as “the father of lies.” Therefore, moms, God is charging you not to be like the devil who tells lies, but to be like God and tell the truth.

One of the benefits of living a life that tells the truth is having an audience that values what you say. King Solomon understood this both as a speaker and a listener. Because of his prayer for discernment in 1 Kings 3:9, God made Solomon the wisest man that ever lived. As a result of this, 1 Kings 4:34 records that the kings of the world sent men to listen to and learn from him. Yet even Solomon as a king knew the importance of having people around him he could trust. Thus in Proverbs 16:13 God inspired Solomon to write, “Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth.”

By replacing two words in this verse you will see its significance to moms.

“Husbands take pleasure in honest lips;
they value a wife who speaks the truth.”

“Children take pleasure in honest lips;
they value a mom who speaks the truth.”

“Grandchildren take pleasure in honest lips;
they value a grandmother who speaks the truth.”

I think you get the picture. I know that when children are growing up, they don’t always value what you have to say as a mom. If you remain faithful at lovingly speaking God’s truth, it’s amazing what a change of address can do.

When children grow up and move away from home, their change of address often brings a change of mind. The same children who once thought you were an idiot have now given you an honorary doctorate in all the disciplines of life. Because you have always been lovingly truthful, they now ask your advice. Think for a moment how long your advice could last. If you have the privilege of holding a great-grandchild on your lap, your advice could live over 100 years—from the birth of your first child when you were 20 till the death of your great-grandchild who might reach 80.

With so many relying on your words, make them reliable. Don’t weaken them with half-truths. Don’t discredit them by gossiping about others. Be truthful. Make your words worth hearing and you will make them last.

3. Be Filled With the Spirit

Moms, you can’t live a holy life and speak God’s truth unless you are filled with His Spirit. You understand this when you once again turn a negative into a positive. You are charged in verse 3 “not to be addicted to much wine.” We could discuss whether or not believers should drink alcohol. For me, 1 Corinthians 8:9-13, and 10:27-33 indicate I should not. However, I don’t think wine is the key word in this verse. For me, “addicted” is.

In Ephesians 5:18, the Bible says, “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead be filled with the Spirit.” This verse places a negative condition beside a positive challenge. You can either be drunk on wine or filled with the Spirit. Both of these refer to something that influences your life.

When a police officer arrests a drunk driver, he does not write on the report, “She was drunk.” He writes, “She was driving under the influence.” At that moment in her life, her addiction to the alcohol was influencing her. She was influenced physically—her ability to react was slowed dramatically. She was influenced emotionally—going from highs to lows without control. She was influenced mentally—unable to make wise decisions. Furthermore, the addictive influence doesn’t have to be alcohol. You could be driven by the influence of how you look, of what you own, of what your children do, or of your career.

The challenge is to be filled with the Spirit. The Holy Spirit is to be the one driving force that should influence your life. Your driving compulsion should be “to be always being filled with the Spirit.” This is the literal challenge of Ephesians 5:18. For when the Holy Spirit fills you, He influences everything about you. The Holy Spirit influences your emotions (John 14:15-18), your discernment and decision making (1 Corinthians 2), your knowledge and use of God’s Word (John 16:13), your prayer-life—even when you don’t have the strength to pray or don’t know what to pray for (Romans 8:26-27; Ephesians 6:18).

Therefore, as you look to fulfill a life list that enables your life to truly make a difference, make sure you have on that list “being filled with the Spirit.”

4. Be a Teacher of Good

The fourth challenge comes from the statement “to teach what is good.” I can imagine there are times mothers think, “Though I’m teaching, I wonder if my child is listening.” Let the following confessions encourage you that they are.

• George Washington: “The greatest teacher I ever had was my mother.”
• John Quincy Adams: “All that I am my mother made me.”
• Abraham Lincoln: “All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”

Therefore, remember that when you think you are not making a difference, you are. In fact, there is never a time in your life that you are not teaching. This became even clearer to me when my dad passed away several years ago.

I didn’t realize how many times I used Dad as a mile marker for my life. As a child, he gave me a picture of what I might be like as a dad. When I became a dad, he showed me what my life might look like when I became a granddad. However, when Dad died at age seventy, I felt as if I had lost my mile marker. I had lost my picture of what I might look like, think like, and act like when I reached Dad’s age. For me, I felt as if my mile marker stopped at age seventy. That is why I find myself looking toward men older than seventy whose love for God and integrity of life serve as a mile marker beyond my dad’s.

Moms, please listen. Regardless if you are raising boys or girls, you will always be a teacher to them until you die. And just as I find myself looking toward those older than me for instruction and inspiration, verse 4 explains that younger moms who are not your children will be watching you as well. That’s why verse 3 emphasizes that since you are always teaching, make sure that what you are teaching is always good. If you want to know the curriculum involved in good teaching, pay close attention to the remainder of your “Mom’s To Do List.”

5. Be Loving

Verse 4 charges the older mothers to model and teach the younger mothers “to love their husbands and children.” Most biblical instructions on marriage charge the husband to love his wife and children. This is one of the few references where the wife is charged to love their husband and children.

Often we forget how influential a loving home can be. A study of the sixty-nine kings of France revealed that only three of these kings were loved by the people. When they tried to determine why, the only common factor was that the three kings had been reared by their mothers. The rest were given to tutors or guardians.

This proves that the love you give to your husband and children not only affects your home but other homes, communities, and nations. Therefore it needs to be the right kind of love. That’s why you would assume that this would be speaking about “agape” love, which in the Greek refers to the love of God. Surprisingly it doesn’t. Moms are charged in verse 4 to love their husbands and children with the “philos” kind of love. In the Greek, it’s the love of a friend.

Don’t let this word confuse you, though. God is not charging you as a mom to be a peer instead of a partner to your husband, or a peer instead of a parent to your child. They don’t need you to be their buddy as much as they need you and your love to be their security.

The best picture of this kind of love was shared between Jonathan and David in the Old Testament. In the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Old Testament, Jonathan’s friendship for David is described with the Greek word “philos.” You might recall that 1 Samuel 18:1 says that Jonathan loved David as his own life. He shares with David everything he has and commits to David to always be there for him and his descendants (1 Samuel 18:3-4; 2 Samuel 9). Secured by that kind of love, it’s no wonder that David would weather his years as a fugitive from King Saul to one day become king.
Moms, you may sometimes forget the power of your love in the lives of your husband and children. Secured by your love, you enable them to become what God has planned for them. You enable them to venture out with God because they know by your love that you will always be there for them.

6. Be Self-Controlled and Pure

The sixth item on your “Mother’s To Do List” comes from the charge in verse 5 “to be self controlled and pure.” Though all mothers need to hear this, it seemed especially important for Paul to write this to Titus so that Titus could tell the mothers in his church.

It is believed that Paul started the church in Crete during one of his missionary journeys and sent Titus there to organize it along with other churches in the area (Titus 1:5). Crete was the fourth largest island in the Mediterranean Sea. Years before Jesus’ birth, Crete influenced the culture of the North East. According to Titus 1, the culture they created was not one to make any mother proud. Paul gives a brief and disparaging description of the character of the people of Crete in Titus 1:12-16:

12 Even one of their own prophets has said, “Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons.” 13 This testimony is true. Therefore, rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith 14 and will pay no attention to Jewish myths or to the commands of those who reject the truth. 15 To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. 16 They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.

The ungodly culture of the people in Crete had been this way for centuries. Paul’s statement in verse 12 is a direct quote from Epimenides, a philosopher from Crete who lived around 600 B.C.

Though the culture had been this way for centuries, Paul charges Titus to appeal to the one group who could change the culture—moms! But if the culture was going to change, moms would have to change first. Therefore, Paul instructs Titus to encourage the women of Crete to live lives that are self-controlled and pure. Paul knows God knows, and nature has proved that wherever Mom goes, generations will follow.

The importance of this charge to live self-controlled and pure is explained by two laws of nature. The first is the law of imprinting. When an animal hatches from its egg, the first animal it sees it claims as its mother. It’s a strange sight to see a line of ducks following a pig on the farm, but they will if the pig is the first animal they see. The second law is the law of the compass. No matter if you’re lost at sea, or in the thick of a forest, the compass will always point true north. If you know how to use the compass, you can find your way home.

Mothers, your children, from birth, are imprinted on you. Wherever you go, they go. They follow your steps. Why? Because you are their compass. You are their true North. Therefore, get control of your steps, keep them pure, because your children are watching and following.

7. Be Responsible

The seventh item to add to your life’s list emerges from the charge “to be busy at home.” It refers to being responsible. Dan Greenburg writes that by the time her child becomes 18 years old, a mother has invested 18,000 hours of child-generated work. This is enough work for mothers to create their own vocabulary. Here are some definitions from the Internet.

• AIRPLANE: What a mom impersonates to get a 1-year-old to eat strained beets.
• ALIEN: What a mom would suspect had invaded her house if she spotted a child-sized creature cleaning up after itself.
• CHINA: A legendary nation populated by children who love leftover vegetables.
• BABY: 1. Dad, when he gets a cold. 2. Mom’s youngest child, even if he’s 42.

No matter how many hours you spend working for your home, no matter what vocabulary you may create, all your children want to know is, “Will you be responsible and put us first?”

8. Be Good

The eighth item to accomplish in life surfaces when you take a deeper look at the phrase “to be kind.” The word “kind” is normally translated in other texts as “good.” You might ask, “What’s the difference?” Kindness is an action, while goodness is a character trait. Kindness is all about what you do, while goodness is all about who you are. It’s easier for goodness to produce acts of kindness than for acts of kindness to produce goodness.

Loree is the gardener in our family. I’m simply the hired hand. Yet over the years, I’ve learned something by watching her. Before she ever gives attention to the plants, she works with the soil. It’s turned, weeded, watered, and nutrients are added. She knows that it takes a rich soil to produce healthy blooms.

Thus God’s challenge to mothers is to make the soil of your heart rich with goodness. Turn your heart over to God, weed out the sin, water it with scripture, and add the desire to be like Christ. When you have done these things, the goodness of your heart will produce beautiful blooms of kindness.

9. Be Humble

The ninth item on “Mom’s To Do List” occurs throughout scripture. It’s in the charge to wives “to be subject to their husbands.” There will be some women who fear this charge in scripture. The fear is that they will be treated as slaves and will lose their voice in the home. In my opinion, women will never lose their voice in the home.

A young farm boy was getting married. When he told his dad he was going to be the boss of his family, his dad said, “Son, that seldom happens and I can prove it.” He told his son to catch ten chickens and hitch up two horses to the wagon. He said, “Son, I want you to ask every man you find if he’s the boss of his family. If he is, give him a horse. If he’s not, give him a chicken.” The boy had been gone all day and had given away eight chickens and still had the two horses. Seeing an older couple rocking on their porch, he yelled to the man, “Are you the boss of your family?” Boldly, the man said, “I sure am!” “Then come down and take one of these horses,” the boy answered. Looking at the horses, the man said, “I’ll take the black one,” to which his wife said, “No, the bay looks better.” So the old man said, “Yeah, we’ll take the bay.” Smiling, the boy said, “No, you won’t. You’ll take a chicken!”

Mothers have always had a voice in the home, but God has ordained husbands to lead. You have more power over your husband than you realize. In wisdom, God does not take your voice out of the home. However, He does challenge you to temper your voice with humility.

10. Be a Worthy Example

This final aim to accomplish on your “Mom’s To Do List” is actually the overall purpose for each item on your life’s list. God intends for mothers to fulfill each item “so that no one will malign the word of God.” God wants mothers to be worthy examples, so when your husband, your children, and others look at you they are attracted to God and His word.

Chuck Swindoll writes the story of four Bible scholars arguing over Bible translations. One preferred the King James Version because of its eloquent old English. The second preferred the American Standard Bible for its literalism. The third preferred Moffet’s translation because of his quaint, penetrating use of words. The last scholar said, “I prefer my mother’s translation.” When the other scholars laughed and asked, “Oh, did your mother produce a translation?” he answered, “Yes, she did. She translated each page of the Bible into life. It is the most convincing translation I ever saw.”

Mothers, you are a translation of God’s Word to your husband, to your children, to your grandchildren and great-grandchildren. You are a translation of God’s Word to other mothers and other individuals. That’s why it is important that you take time to look up from all your daily “to do lists” and consider what God wants you to have on your lifetime list. It’s God Who wants you to

• Be Holy
• Be Truthful
• Be a Teacher of Good
• Be Loving
• Be Self-controlled and Pure
• Be Responsible
• Be Humble
• Be Good
• Be a Worthy Example.

I truly believe when you focus on these items on your life-time list it will change your daily list. And when you change your daily list to accomplish these items on your “Mother’s To Do List” it will not only change you, but it will also change others—for a lifetime!